Killing Time (Not literally) and other Airport Tales

Time to break out the laptop almost instantly to write the first entry in my new blog.

Seems like a long time since I prepared to head off into the relative unknown of Korea. At that point I had no real idea what to expect, and although almost four years have passed since I departed London bound for the Far East, I still remember each and every single moment of that fantastic experience.

I remember waving goodbye to my teary-eyed Mum at the airport wondering exactly what I was letting myself in for, but after acclimatising to my surroundings, and thanks to my now good friends Kevin and Charlie, I felt a sadness I never expected when I departed Suwon bound for England in the Spring of 2010.

Two years, and many experiences on from that, I feel strains of the same childhood enthusiasm as I prepare to travel to Singapore. Although it is more of a known quantity than South Korea, I really, and truly have no idea what to expect. From what I have seen of the city-state it seems to be an intriguing fusion of western and eastern cultures with bright sunshine and skyscrapers.

I hope it lives up to my expectations, and after studying my travel books and the Internet heavily I am hoping that it will be an unforgettable experience.....

.... every unforgettable experiences has to be surrounded with a downside however.

I managed to board the correct train on time from St Neots this morning, and despite the troubles with my huge four wheeled suitcase I rode the Picadilly line all the way to the end of the track until I reached Heathrow Terminal 4. 

Opting to use the escalator instead of the life (perhaps my first mistake of the day) I was pleasantly surprised to see that the check-in desks for Sri Lankan airways were straight in front of me.

Bizarely the guy behind the desk asked me to put my hand luggage on the scales first, and naturally he informed me that it was overweight by 6KG. To say that the limit was 7KG that was some achievement. I put my checked in bag onto the scales which were 26Kgs so set about moving some things around. Clearly the heavy thing in my bag was the laptop which I am currently typing on, and upon seeing that the member of staff from the airline said that I should have mentioned I had a laptop in my bag as that is OK.

Erm... are you sure about that my friend? Your ‘One piece of hand luggage’ rule said an umbrella, a coat, a purse or other lady type items were OK, but never a laptop. Anyway, I decided to stuff it back in my bag before he changed his mind. Mental maths also told me that considering my bag was 4KGs below the limit and my hand luggage was 7Kgs above it, I was clearly going to struggle to balance that equation!

Deciding not to hang about I headed through the security checkpoint, or at least attempted to.

Clearly a lost old man on a day out who happened to be at the airport was standing in the queue in front of me (I soon discovered he was French when he started trying to speak to me!) and I briskly had to conduct an overtake, a somewhat unfamiliar move in a narrow airport line, but please, either know what you’re doing or get out of the way of people that do.

Next problem was the security itself. Somehow the Frenchman had managed to make his way back in front of me although he didn’t seem to be the major problem for the line almost immediately backing up.

Now I understand that the airlines these days can have trivial rules about what is permitted, but they are in place for a reason. 

If it says no more than 100ml worth of liquids then guess how much you are allowed?

If you have a drink and it says no drinks, work out what beverages you can’t take?

If there’s a sign saying take your laptop out of your hand luggage and put it in a tray, then guess what piece of electronic equipment needs removing from your hand luggage, and needs placing in a tray?

It’s not rocket science people.

The one guy who was emptying his pockets for about five minutes and forgetting to take his things out of his bag should probably not even be allowed near an airport. Clearly it wasn’t his first rodeo, but he must be unable to read and not have turned his hearing aid up. 

He wasn’t helped much by a very unhelpful member of staff who was getting extremely frustrated at having to keep asking the same questions, but still, it’s your job. Own it.

If you haven’t got any inter-personal skills with people, then the airport isn’t the best place for you.

When it came to my turn I was more than ready having been there for five minutes waiting for the people in front, but for some reason I had to move each item into its own tray. 

Do you seriously want me to put my watch in it’s own tray, and my jumper, and my laptop, and phone, and ipod, and plugs, and charger? No wonder the line was so long.

After eventually managing to convince him that I didn’t have a belt on my tracksuit bottoms and my glasses weren’t made of metal I was eventually allowed to pass through, and then spend the next ten minutes repacking my bag having taken everything out of it! What a joke.

At least I wasn’t one of the unfortunate people who beeped when they went though the metal detectors, as they have some new crazy looking machine which apparently means no more frisking when you forget to take your belt off, or as I did at the Olympics forget that your phone is in your pocket!

Had a wonder through to get some food and then found which gate my plane is taking off from.

Can’t say I am looking forward to sixteen hours of flying, but I’m hoping it will be worth it in the end!

Will report more when anything of interest happens. Or if anyone else comes up and asks me a ridiculous question. Clearly I don’t work here so I’m not sure why two people have asked me if I know where their gate is.....